Tips for How to Make Your Message Your Own

Your relationship is unique, and therefore all of these messages should only be treated as starting points. Here are some ideas for how to tailor these messages to fit the occasion:

Be personal and specific when communicating how much he or she means to you. This article will give you ideas for how to do so, but your relationship is one-of-a-kind—find ways to communicate that. Compliment your significant other on something he or she takes pride in or say thank you for something he or she has done recently. Be specific about what he or she does that makes your relationship so happy that you can’t imagine living without it.
Do not place blame. When apologizing, you should set aside questions of fault and recognize that your significant other is feeling hurt. Focus on how to address those feelings.

Use statements that start with 'I'. Arguments usually start because someone made an assumption. So don't make any statements that assume the other person's intention, 'You lashed out at me.' Instead, state the facts and say how they made you feel (this statement will likely start with 'I': 'When you told me you didn't have time to wait for me [the fact], I felt hurt [I statement].'
Acknowledge what you could have done—and will do—differently: Own that at least part of the fault was your, and offer up steps to make things work. These steps could involve actions on both sides, such as, 'I'll make sure I won't hold us up next time. When you're feeling rushed, can you let me know when you plan to leave so that I can be ready?'
Apologize and express your love. After all, this is what the message is for. Reassure him or her that you didn't mean to be hurtful.

Be genuine. Remember, your significant other know you. And he or she will be able to tell if you aren't really sorry. If you're just going through the motions, even the best-worded apology message will not help. Take some time and do something you enjoy to help put you into a positive, more accommodating mindset.
Follow up in person. The great thing about sending a text message, email, or note is that it can give your significant other time to think over your apology and come to terms with his or her emotions. Next time you see each other in person, follow up by repeating what you expressed in the note, so he or she knows you meant it and that the issue is important to you.

Read on for ideas for how to phrase your message.

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